I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
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How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Randomize