I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
