everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
