Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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