Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
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