I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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