I used to practice getting hit by cars.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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