Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
