So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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