Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i think i have two assholes
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Randomize
