i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
