Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
