I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
