I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
