Moan for me like Helen Keller
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
