what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
