yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
