the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize