We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
