My Higher Power is John Stamos
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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