under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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