I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I am naked and annoyed.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
