My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
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Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
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What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
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