What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
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my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
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No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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