I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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