Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
