yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
