im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize