There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
