I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I think I am morally bankrupt
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
