I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
she pinky promised me she was 18
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I'm too high and old for this...
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
