this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
