Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
