My friends, they love my intelligence
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
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I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize