I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
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