You smell like stripper and shame
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
