Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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