We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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