so let's talk penis.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
