i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
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