my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
