Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
