do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
