Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Randomize
