I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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