Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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