i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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