im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Randomize
