She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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