I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
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5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
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no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin