mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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