then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Randomize
