I queefed so loud it echoed.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
