She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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