I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
dude. I can hear the air.
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