I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
