Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
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