Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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