she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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