I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Randomize
