Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
