I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
