Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
