can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I deserve this hangover.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
