Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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