never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
