they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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